Okay, so, hi! So, London: It was great. We ran around for a week, trying to see everything, which one can never really do in a place as big and marvelous as London. But we did pretty well: We saw the National Portrait Gallery, the British Museum, the Tower of London, Trafalgar Square, the Victoria and Albert Museum, the British Library, Buckingham Palace, Kew Gardens, and Westminster Abbey, and we went on the Harry Potter Studio Tour, which was amazingI'mdyingitwassocoolalkdjfal;dkjf, so awesome.
Hm, where to begin? I hadn't done many of these sites before, so I was able to experience them alongside Mom and Colton. The Tower of London was especially cool. So much history. I mean, it's where Anne Boleyn met her end, as well as Lady Jane Grey, and about a hundred other poor souls. There's a little monument near the White Tower commemorating their deaths, on the exact spot where their heads were chopped off. If you know me well, you know I love death, destruction, ghosts, and drama, so the Tower of London was endlessly fascinating for me. Did you know that Anne Boleyn had a French swordsman come to execute her because she thought it would a less painful end than one would find with an axe? She was probably right too- Many accounts tell of beheadings gone horribly wrong, where the executioner completely botched the job and ending up having to hack things apart. Supposedly, as story goes, during one such clumsy beheading, the doomed man began laughing with the absurdity of the situation and laughed until his head finally fell off- creating the phrase "laughing your head off." There's another interesting story having to do with the Tower. After the death of King Edward IV, his two young sons were put in the Tower for safekeeping by their Lord Protector, Richard, Duke of Gloucester. They lived there for many years until one day, they vanished. Richard would go on to become Richard III, King of England. In 1674, two skeletons were found in the White Tower under some stairs and identified as the bones of small children. Reexamined in 1933, experts found the bones to be indeed from small children, but the sex could not be placed. They are now buried in Westminster Abbey.
Okay, so that was depressing, sorry. Let's talk about music now because everybody loves music. At the British Library, you can see the paper on which Handel wrote his "Messiah" masterpiece, and you can examine early publications of Shakespeare's works. There is also a little Beatles exhibit you can look at. The Library has the birthday card on which Lennon wrote "A Hard Day's Night," and they have other scribblings of lyrics from the boys. Fun fact: The managers told the Beatles that their first film would be called A Hard Day's Night, a favorite saying of Ringo's, and the next day, Lennon came in with "A Hard Day's Night," written and ready to be recorded. Pretty impressive, if you ask me.
We also saw some shows in London, which were great. We all loved the musical Billy Elliot, with music by Elton John. The 39 Steps was goofy, causing Colton to obsess over it. Although not a stage show, we saw the Changing of Guards at Buckingham Palace too, a major snore. Some chick stole my first-row spot when I didn't drape my body over the railing for a second, so I had to crane around to see it- not fun- plus most of the ceremony takes place behind a gate, so you can't really see it, no matter how early you arrive.
Alright, I'll wrap with a socially uncomfortable incident that occurred at the National Portrait Gallery. Colton and I were hungry, so we dragged Mom down to the café to get some food, i.e. cake. I got a chocolate cake, and Colton got a cupcake. Mom didn't get anything because her stomach is roughly the size of a tea bag. I was like, "I got this, Colton; I'll pay." And Colton was like, "Sweet, 'cause you have £2,983,832 leftover from living in England for a million years, and I have no money." So, we walk up to the till, and I'm like, "Hi, Mr. Cashier, here's money for your overpriced baked goods," and then he says something that's so awkward, it's seared into my memory forever. He looks at me, and he looks at Colton, and he goes to us, "You paying? Forever? That's not cool." And then he smiles this loathsome, unctuous little grin. Let's just break down the uncomfortableness of this comment. First of all, he assumed Colton and I were dating, which is just.. Um, no. Cooties. Secondly, he called Colton out for not paying for me, which was rude of him and very, I don't know, 19th-century. Calm down, dude. Welcome to the 21st-century. I gave him my best ice-glare and sniffed, "Well, he's my brother, so..." and paid the £100,000 I owed him for our snack, this being London after all.
Thank you for reading my blog, and make sure to check out my pictures, above!
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